Staying Calm in the Fear Loop (Part 2)

This is a continuation of our previous discussion about the fear loop. You can see Part 1 here.

In our last discussion about the fear loop, we discussed the amygdala hijacking, how it feels, and what that can do to your ability to respond to danger or stress.

Staying calm when descending into the fear loop can feel impossible. You are not in control of the physiological responses you have when facing possible danger. But, you can control the choices you make in response to fear, danger, or uncertainty. Trying to remain calm when your amygdala has been hijacked will create better outcomes, but it will take a measure of self-awareness and some training.

First, just understanding what your body is doing can help you overcome the fear response. Understand that your body senses danger and is trying to help you by priming you with hormones that will help you manage a potential crisis. Your body is not at war with you, it is trying to protect you.

Next, whatever is happening to trigger this response, it helps to accept that it is really happening. Denial wastes valuable time.

Accepting what is happening does not mean accepting the False Expectations that your mind has set up, but rather we are to accept reality. For example, when someone raises their voice at you, this can trigger a response in your body that prepares you for a fight. Your mind can start running wild with different possibilities of the outcome of the situation:

·      raised voice leads to yelling

·      yelling leads to finger pointing into the chest

·      this leads to a slap in the face

·      this leads to a fight

·      a fight leads to injury

Is this the possible outcome of someone raising their voice? Sure. But they are only raising their voice right now. We are not yet in danger. We can remain calm and think through this situation. Maybe we can come up with a more peaceful outcome.

After we accept the reality of the situation, the next step is to challenge ourselves to find the solution to our problem. And we can do this much better if we have retained the highest levels of our cognitive abilities by removing ourselves from the fear loop.

Alright, let’s summarize:

When we face potential danger, it can trigger an amygdala hijacking which primes us to deal with danger by running or fighting (and sometimes freezing up). To retain control of ourselves in a stressful moment like this, we need to understand the responses our body has to danger and stress. If we are able to accept the reality of what is happening to us, we won’t become paralyzed in fear of the wild fictions our mind can create; this will allow us to have a better response to our situation.

Understanding fear is one step in helping us stay calm under stress. In our next segment, we’ll discuss the next step: confidence.